i'm too zen for this

in which Jam explains why vacations make her anxious.

seriously. for a nomad, the idea of spending two weeks in a foreign country makes me all kinds of nervous.

it's not the "foreign country" part that gets me, though. it's the "two weeks" part.

what I like to do is live somewhere different. have some time to settle in. I hate feeling rushed, y'know? and while I like to make plans, making tons of plans to stick into a short span of time is too much for me. so, I loved moving to Ireland for 12 months, and later on I'm gonna try to do the same in New Zealand. but when I'm visiting places, I prefer to go with people (say, mama and daddy for example) who know what they want to do, when they want to do it, and I can just follow along.

tomorrow I leave for the UK with some friends. I'll be with them till the 11th, when they'll go home and I'll venture forward into London on my own. I have absolutely nothing planned except one event on the 15th, and an early flight out of Glasgow on the 21st. Everything between now and then is completely up in the air. . .

so, this is what I'm going to do. I'm bringing a backpack full of clothes, my wallet, and my camera. I'll buy a map or something once I alight, and each morning when I get up, I'll decide what I want to do that day or the next day. I'm gonna be as low maintenance as possible, and take each day as it comes. if I hardly get to do anything cool, or if I accidentally end up missing something I wanted to do, I can plan a proper trip later, in August.

i like to move slowly. i'm much more of a backpacking/camping kinda person than a busy city girl. large crowds of people make me feel strange and out of place. like a fish flopping about in the bottom of a boat.

i don't get back to Ireland until the 21st, so you may not hear from me until then, although i will probably find and get on the internet periodically to research things i want to do or how to get to places i want to go. when i get back, all my energy will go into planning for my cycle tour and making it a reality.

right now i'm just barely getting over my headcold, and walking outside, it's like everything is covered in a layer of molten glass, turned slightly sideways and pushed out farther from me than it used to be. i don't think i'm even mentally capable of making plans at the moment. i'm not even capable of capitalisation any more apparently.

peace out and i'll see y'all on the flipside.