20 November 2014

three minutes

and outside I know the snow is melting under the warm sun I cannot feel under these fluorescent lights that buzz and hum:

background radiation of my shrunken universe folded in on itself with the gravity of each person here:

chemicals and medications and blood and power and helplessness bagged in skin and gathered up for who knows what reason except that it happened and we have to deal with it somehow:

three minutes can be a very long time

23 September 2014

Frivolous purchase??

I don't do this very often with expensive items, but I just bought this for myself:


It is a replica of a female hoffmann's two-toed sloth skull. I'm thinking of it as like a Halloween present to myself?? I'm going to use it both as an art reference and as a decorative piece in my house...

Cost me $100...



20 August 2014

Rocky Mountain Fur Con 2014

It's been over a week since the convention and I didn't take any notes when I got home, so let's see how good my memory is! If I forget to mention someone--especially you, dear reader, if I forget to mention you and you were there--I'm sorry! I've just been so freakin' busy since the con ended I haven't had a chance to write this up yet!


Yes, I'm going to write about another furry convention. This one, the Rocky Mountain Fur Con, is held in Denver every year, in August. I've gone before in 2011 (back when I still identified with a lion, instead of a sloth) and again in 2013 (the first year I got to wear my sloth costume!). This year it was held in a different, larger, hotel--the Marriott Tech Center across from the Belleview light rail station.

Now that I'm more-or-less settled in Denver, I will probably continue to attend this con every year for the foreseeable future.

This year's theme was "14ers!"--i.e., mountain-climbing-- getting down into the roots of this con as a "Rocky Mountain" con.


~ Friday, Aug. 8th ~

On Friday I had to work until 4 p.m., so I rode the light rail to work with all my stuff in tow so that I could go straight to the con on the train after work without having to stop by home first. I had printed, but not yet laminated, the art badges that several people had paid me to make for them, so I brought my laminator to work, then bought some lamination sheets and finished up the badges on my lunch break.

I showed one of my coworkers my sloth head during lunch too and she thought it was awesome X3

This was my first time taking the light rail, and even though it is very expensive for how slow it is and how limited its locations are, I thought it was super nifty. I love trains. In another life I could totally be an autistic boy with a train obsession--there's just something about them, idk.


The first person I saw when I rolled up to the con w/ my suitcase was Salem. He was standing outside smoking and talking to folk. I chatted for a bit, then went inside to pick up my pre-registered conbadge and the conbook.

I was super pleased to see that the story I had submitted to the conbook was in there! You can read it online here! I bugged basically all my friends to read it, haha. Those that did thought it was cute, which is all I could hope for. I had a 650 word limit because of the limited conbook space, so I decided to write a little fable in the style of Aesop's fables. It riffed off "the Tortoise and the Hare," but the moral of the story is quite different. Have a read of it and let me know what you think ~

After getting my book I went into the Dealer's Den to find Menagerie Workshop's table, who had the sloth feet I had commissioned a few months ago with them there. AHHH I LOVE MY NEW FEET THEY ARE AWESOME! They're all curled in and awkward and perfect. (you can see them in the picture below...!)

Also in the dealer's den I managed to find a few skull pins for my purse, and to snag a copy of the comic Epiphany by Ian Jay. I'm absolutely in love with their art style--and they signed it and drew me a little sketch of a three-toed sloth in the front of the book! w00t!

After I got my feet and merch, I spent a lot of time wandering around the con looking for the people whose badges I had made. I found most of them that night, but had a few I needed to track down the next day.

When Led got off work, we went to go pick him up in Wolf's car, and then stopped by the Elephant Bar and Grille for supper before returning to the con. I had already eaten, so I just ordered some red wine, and Led bought it for me as a belated birthday present <3

Back at the con I got into suit and found my Spring-friend (aka Spring Dragon):

 (photo of me in my realistic two-toed sloth costume, waving at the camera, with my arm around my friend in a realistic Akita costume, who is hugging me)

I also managed to find Senshi (aka thewhitesoldier on FA), who was gracious enough to run upstairs and grab the bead badge she'd made for me as a trade. AHHH I LOVE IT SO. I handed her a full-body badge of her character Aircraft in exchange :)

(photo of the badge, a large rendition of Tica's face with a red hibiscus over her ear, made out of Perler beads)

After this at some point Salem and I went to the dance, where I danced in slow motion (and attracted a group of folks who danced in slow motion around me, haha), and Salem found a glowstick bracelet and stuck it in my claws. We didn't stay and dance for very long because we were so exhausted, so we went up to Salem's room after just a few songs. (of course, it took FOREVER for us to get to and from the dance because whenever I'm in suit I get stopped a lot for pictures ^^;)

Salem was rooming with Wolf and Samifur, a good friend of ours (and Led's boyfriend!!) currently visiting from Scotland. Wolf invited me to stay in their room that night too, but I had some stuff to do at home, so I left my suitcase, fursuit and laminator in their room and then Salem walked me to the train station and waited with me for the train (all the while nodding off, haha). He also read my conbook story and said it was cute. ^^;

Then, yeah, I got home kinda late and sunk right into bed, excited for the next day!

~ Saturday, Aug. 9th ~

I got up at about 9 am, drank some tea to wake up fully, and went off to the liquor store and the grocery store to stock up on food and booze for the rest of the con. Got us some Kraken black spiced rum (IT WAS AMAZING), pineapple juice, and coconut cream for homemade pina coladas, and then picked up some Samuel Adams as well for Salem. From the grocery store I just got food and snacks enough to last me for the rest of the con, since I was going to sleep in Wolf's room that night instead of going back and forth from home.

Had a really chill morning, just talking to people and wandering around. I picked up an amazing watercolor badge that Noka had made for me, and while I was at her table I was given this badge from Sesi--Tica dressed as a Likitung! IT IS SO CUTE. Likitung are really under-appreciated pokemon!

Right before the fursuit games I went and put my suit on, and Samifur took my camera and acted the handler for me. The games were in a really cramped room, and they seemed somewhat disorganized... I left before they were fully over. After a short break, it was time for the giant group photo (I stood right in the front!) and the fursuit parade! They let me start the parade and told everyone "PASS THE SLOTH" and about half of the parade passed me before I finished, haha. The parade route seemed really short this year though... I hope next year they figure out a longer route, so that the people watching won't be so crowded together.

After that it was more wandering around, checking out the dealer's den over and over, seeing people I know, dropping off the last of the badges I'd made for people. I only saw Hammond the Hippo once during the whole con (!!) so it was a good thing I had his badge on me when I did manage to see him!

I spent most of Saturday hanging out with Samifur. At some point we decided to go swimming, so we went, and Salem and his date, C-----, joined us after a while. I can't remember what we did after that... ran around getting sketches for Sami's book I think.

Then it was ROOM PARTY TIME!! Salem, C-----, Wolf, Samifur, and I cracked open the rum, drinking it either in pina colada form or in rum-and-pepsi form (I had forgotten to get coke earlier and the hotel vending machines only had pepsi). We got thai takeout to eat, which Salem and C----- went to go pick up, and it was pretty tasty (I had a gluten-free pad thai). We spent hours just talking and hanging out and drinking heavily, haha. There were many cuddles. Sami puked at one point and I felt sorry for him but he seemed to still be enjoying himself, so I guess it was okay.

Then it was bedtime... C----- went home when he was good enough to drive (he drank WAY less than the rest of us) and then in the dark Salem, Sami, Wolf and I had weird conversations until Wolf turned on his CPAP machine and we all nodded off.

~ Sunday, Aug. 10th ~

Sunday was even more chill than Saturday. We got up when we felt like it, packed up and cleaned our room, then got our stuff out for checkout. Everyone put their stuff in Wolf's car except me, since I was taking the train home, so I just carried my stuff in my rolly suitcase all day.

Finally picked an art print to buy from the dealer's den on Sunday--this print of a tribal anteater by artist Dark Natasha. She's a really cool person, and I freakin' love anteaters. (Did you know that anteaters and armadillos are the closest biological cousins to the sloth? A lot of people think that sloths are related to primates, but that's not the case at all!)

Anyway, even though the print already has her signature on it, I asked her to sign my picture in person and she sketched Tica on the back...!! Sorry the picture is all shiny; I laminated the print to protect it from damage, and I don't have a scanner right now, only a camera...

 (photo of the sloth sketch from Dark Natasha. Note reads, "Thank you and love your character")

...Come to think of it, turns out I didn't go to a single panel this year, besides fursuit stuffs. I guess I was having too much fun socializing.

I did put my suit on and do the second round of fursuit games in the afternoon... but, while we had more room this time, it also seemed ill-prepared and disorganized. I left sometime after Twister, even though the games continued for like another hour after I left them.

Found Ian the Gecko after that and bugged him to film me for his music video (I was supposed to do the filming with him on Saturday, but I, uh, got drunk instead)...  He was doing a furry version of the Weird Al song "Tacky," which you can watch here:

He had to speed my bit up in post, haha...

After this I took my fursuit off for good. I really love taking pictures with people and being silly and suiting, and I kind of wish I had worn the suit more over the course of the con (there's WAY less pictures of me floating around on the net this year than there were last year...), but I was just so busy socializing and hanging out with people I know and stuff that I felt like I didn't have time for it! At least I got *most* of the pictures I wanted to get with specific other suiters.

Eventually I will post all my pictures online somewhere and provide a link here.

After the dealer's den closed, we all went to hang out with Spring Dragon, who had been in there for most of the con and therefore not hanging out with us. We *were* going to go see a movie together, but we all got hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion so we just went across the street to get something to eat. I drank margaritas and decided that actually I don't like tequila very much, and we met up with some other random furries while we were eating there.

After this we all kinda parted ways, and Spring Dragon offered to drive me home which was super nice of him! We met some other people in the parking lot (among them my friends Feathergills and Troj) and talked for a while more before we actually got on the road.

I navigated Spring to my house and we chatted and he dropped me off at my door (turns out we don't live too far away from each other), then I was home and I had to spray my suit down with febreeze and unpack and start reading my comic and keeping up with new contacts on FA and tagging my pictures on facebook and other post-con busywork! I went to bed early as I could so I would be fresh for work in the morning, and that was that...!

I had a blast and I am super excited for next year :D


21 June 2014

Updated Wishlist

Just a little post to keep track of things I need & want. I'm not asking anyone for anything! (My birthday coming up soon is coincidental XD)

Could definitely use:

1. Refillable peppercorn grinder (got one from my Grandmamma's estate... RIP)

2. New headphones

3. More cool skinny ties

4. Bike shorts that look like normal shorts

Simply want:

1. Art commissions! Especially of my fursona, Tica

2. Any nerdy/cute 1-inch pin or button (for my purse)--esp. skulls!

3. Any of these cool Star Trek Books 

4. This Tetris seatbelt belt (bought this for myself for my 25th birthday!)

5. This (expensive) replica two-toed sloth skull (bought for myself for Halloween!)

27 March 2014

Furnal Equinox 2014

NB: this was written after the first weekend in March, but I didn't actually publish it yet. My bad.


Last weekend I really, really needed a break from everything. From the pain, the depression, the fatigue, the loneliness--everything... So I went to Toronto with a friend of mine from Ithaca. Had a blast at a furry convention called Furnal Equinox.

That's right... I am part of the "furry fandom"--a furry, for short. And I'm not even ashamed of it. Like, should I be? It's just a hobby of mine: it's not a huge part of my life, but it does inform what I do for fun. Which is mostly to make animal-related art and attend furry events in my sloth costume. I have to admit, I've made some of my best friends through the furry fandom, so I don't regret buying my costume and becoming more involved in it, not one bit. (If you don't really understand what the furry fandom is, or if you think it's a fetishistic or horrible fandom for some reason, I'd be more than happy to talk to you about it and explain my involvement in it to you.)

Anyway, here's how it went.

(you can find photos from the event here... I haven't uploaded them all yet, so check back later too)

First thing in the morning I get up and head to the doctor to get some blood drawn. Yay? Then it's time for another appointment, this time with a psych. (Being sick is like this. You get used to it after a while.) When that's over I go to get my friend Tabby Tim, who took a bus up from Ithaca to Geneva to meet me.

First thing we do is go to Wegmans and stock up on four days' worth of food and snacks. I get a several bags of chips, some salmon, some gluten-free muffins and cookies, fruit cups, trail mix, sugar snap peas, an orange pepper, and pistachios. We also get guacamole and tortilla chips for lunch, and eat together in Wegmans before heading out.

I put some oil in my car and we're on the road. We basically just talk all the way to the border crossing. Now I know all kinds of blackmails for the Tabs >:D (except he knows all my blackmails, too... DX ...)

Canadian border guy is very nice! Sends us on our way without comment. We go to exchange our monies for gorgeous Canadian currency and check out the cheap booze in the duty free store. From there, onward to Toronto!

Except it's not that easy... we get lost somewhere on the QEW and end up travelling in the wrong direction for probably like an hour... luckily some nice guys in a gas station point us in the right direction, and I buy a map of Ontario to prevent this from happening again. THEN we stop at the overflow hotel instead of the actual hotel on accident because we were silly and didn't look up the name of the hotel before we left... but we take a free apple off their hands and pop next door to the Sheraton and see some fursuiters and people wearing tails and ears and know we're in the right place ^-^

First thing we do is meet our roommates, whom Tabs had arranged stuff with online. One's a dragon and one's new to furry and hasn't picked a species yet... they're both really nice and it seems like a great arrangement. We head downstairs to socialize a bit but I'm so beat from the extra-long car ride that I seem drunk and Tabs keeps laughing at me. He gives me a shoulder massage and then sends me to bed while he heads back down to meet some folk.

In the morning on Friday we kinda wander around aimlessly, taking pictures of the people in suit already. We sit down and talk to DJ Pup, Quinn, and one of the judges for the upcoming dance contest, who when she discovers I have a fursuit encourages me to come to the preliminaries later in the day. I don't have a routine or anything, but I think, why not have a laugh? I'd be dancing in slow motion anyway. I figure that if they're using the prelims to cut undeserving acts out of the contest, then I'll get cut, but it'll be fun to try anyway.

Opening ceremonies are at 11 a.m. and I put on my suit for that even though it's kinda hard to see what's going on that way OH WELL

Next big thing we do is the furry dance competition prelims! We request "Can't touch this" by MC Hammer but they just have Super Freak, which is fine. I haven't technically choreographed anything so I just do the dorkiest dance moves I can think of... but in slow motion. It's apparently a big hit and everyone kinda roars with laughter and I feel good about that, that I was entertaining even as I had no idea what I was doing. Turns out they're not cutting anyone from performing, they're just using the prelims to get introduced to the contestants and give some critiques. Looks like I'm headed for the final competition on Sunday!

Then there's a wicked crazy informal pool party in the hotel pool... Tabs borrows my athletic shorts and sports bra (why the bra on a dude? ...well, why not?) and we go down and everyone has all these huge, custom inflatable toys, like a big white dragon and a tiger and an otter and beach balls of all sizes. It was actually crazy fun, everyone just splashing around and having shenanigans.

Then there's a photoshoot for fursuting wimmins so I go to that and take some photos with my gurlz! I was hoping more lady suiters would show up; it was only a handful, but that's okay I guess.

Then we go to the dance for a little while, and I dance in slow motion with glowsticks stuck between my claws... yeah! (There's a great picture of me and someone else bedecked in glowies: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12927466/ ). After a while with the lights and the sounds and heat and fatigue I can no longer tell what's going on around me anymore really? So Tabs takes me up to bed and then goes back down to see what he can do to get into trouble...

On Saturday we sleep in until the fursuit games. I'm... I'm pretty sure that my sloth slowness is the reason why my team loses... D: OH WELL I can't help it! Once the suit goes on I get in character and I don't break it for anything.

After this it's the giant fursuit photo, which is really hot and tiresome just standing around while they try to get us all situated, but honestly considering that there's like 200 - 300 suiters trying to get in this picture, it doesn't take that long at all! I end up somewhere near the back but you can see me pretty well in the final picture. (I'd link to it, but they haven't posted it yet.) After this, the parade! I start near the front of the line but end the parade near the rear, like always :3

Tabs and I spend some time just like, idk, eating and snuggling and being boring anti-social people up in the room... then we come down and look for people to hang with. Spend some time in a pretty cool room party with free booze. At some point in the middle of the party, though, the gaggle of women who I was chillin' near all leave, meaning I'm the only chick in a group of chucks, and it's kinda weird? So I head off to bed, leaving Tabs to fend for himself!

In the morning (when I finally get Tabs to wake up... by poking him every five minutes and making him some tea and finally saying I'm gonna leave without him if he doesn't get up) we head down to the fursuit dance competition!

All the dancers are really good. I like each act that I see, pretty much. I'm number 18 so I see a lot of 'em before I finally go. While I'm watching the other acts, I'm trying to think of what other dance moves I should add to my routine to make it a bit longer. Then, it comes to me... twerking. Yes. You can see the dance on youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJkqdIMiyGQ ...

Apparently that dance really turned some heads, because I won first prize in the competition! @-@ The medal is really cool, too, a golden paw on a Canada-themed ribbon. I think there were some people who got kinda upset that a comedy routine won the dance comp instead of a serious show of skill, but most people seemed to be pretty pleased that I won... a few people told me, if I didn't win they would've started a riot o.o ...Glad there was no riot!

Tabs and I left before the closing ceremonies since we had a bit of a drive left. Mostly everyone else was leaving at this time, as well. We did some quick WHAT'S YOUR INTERNET INFO exchanges and then headed out.

Swag I ended up buying from the dealer's den: a birthday present for my sister (it's still early, but hey, whatever), a cool carved elephant necklace (couldn't resist), and three pins for my purse--a cute little pirate symbol, a kitty going NYA~, and a human rainbow dash (conversation when I got the last one: "A cute girl with rainbow hair! I don't even like My Little Pony, but I need this" "Why?" "Because I'm a lesbian!!" *seller bursts out laughing*).

Drive home was considerably shorter since we bought a map and knew what we were doing this time. American border guards were, as Tabs so eloquently put it, "dickbutts." They just take themselves way too seriously and are super rude about everything! ugh.

Got Tabs home to Ithaca after dark and was really kinda crashing off my con high and way too tired to actually drive the 45 min back north to my own place... so I stole his bed and he took the couch and I just slept and slept (had Monday off work) and went home at like noon. The rest of my day was just spent relaxin' and finding all the peoples online!

There were too many cool fursuiters and really awesome people there, so I'm not even gonna try to list everyone or do shout outs. You all know who you are. :3

Conventions are a lot of fun and I look forward to doing at least one more this year in Colorado (RMFC).

peace out, y'all

p.s. -- you can find my furry art accounts here: https://www.weasyl.com/profile/tica and here: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tica/  if you are so inclined. I'm tryin' to keep 'em updated and all that... I still have a lot of art and photos yet to go up!

14 February 2014

Something that makes me sad

I'm struggling with chronic fatigue issues and that is why this blog falls by the wayside. Apologies to my mama, and anyone else who reads this.

I had to leave work an hour early today in order to come home and sleep because I was so tired I couldn't concentrate. I had gotten 9 full hours of sleep the night before. I get 8 - 10 hours of sleep every night purposefully, but despite this have hypersomnia some days where I can't stop sleeping/taking naps because no matter how much I sleep or don't sleep, I still feel tired. This fatigue can cause anxiety, panic attacks, and super drastic mood swings on top of hypersomnia, migraines, and muscle aches.

I've been thinking about something because of this. My energy levels are really low. All I can manage in a day is to go to work, do a half-assed job, and come home. At home I eat a simple supper, then lie in bed with my computer and faff about on the internet a little while before going to sleep early. I don't have the energy to leave the house and do things like laundry, or even to wash dishes, so I save that kind of thing for the weekend. Sometimes I have to take sick days or leave work early because of these issues.

Normal people usually work 8 hours, sleep 8 hours, and have 8 hours a day to live their normal lives, do their hobbies, hang with their friends. Normal people leave their house on weekends and go do things. I basically have 8 hours worth of energy a day, and then spend the rest of the day sitting to eat or lying down or sleeping.

The way Americorps works you get 10 vacation days and 10 sick days to use. If you're sick more than 10 days you have to start using vacation days.

Being sick is a shitty vacation. Imagine you're sick for 15 days so you only get 5 days of vacation, and a healthy person who feels great all year gets 10 days.

As a sickly person I'm expected to work just as much as a healthy person, that full 8 hour day, and to prioritize work over personal projects and personal activities. And it makes me sad. Because if I spend 8 hours working, 12 hours sleeping, and 4 hours uselessly lying around wishing my head didn't hurt so much, I don't get the kind of productive personal time that a healthy person gets.

 I'm jealous of people who aren't tired all the time. I'm really frustrated with the way things are working out. I don't mind working, I really don't. But imagine that you only have like 7 hours worth of energy in a day and you have to use 8 hours working to make money so that you can have a place to sleep at night and food to eat so you can repeat the process.

I feel like, if I could work a 30-hour week instead of a 40-hour one I wouldn't be so gorram depressed about everything.

idk. peace.