letting inspiration die

I've been doing a lot of that lately.

One of my biggest vices is definitely sloth. I used to be rather sickly, with constant headaches, unexplained fatigue, and really crappy sleep--so being lazy was a survival instinct. Now that I have more energy than ever before, I so easily and quickly sap it away by watching youtube constantly or reading blogs and comics or otherwise consuming other people's creativity while sitting on my ass doing nothing myself. And the laziness, which was a learned behaviour, continues.

One thing I am doing more of, which is good, is exercise. I'm out on the bike for long spins two or three times a week, and do a mini workout two or three times a week targeting the arms and back along with the physiotherapy exercises for my knees. My pushup count is slowly but steadily improving, and I am piling the miles up behind my new bike--easily throwing down thirty kilometres in less than two hours and still feeling up for more afterwards. My charity cycle is this Saturday and I've decided that I'll cycle to and from the event, as well, turning the 70 km loop into a 100 km journey total (15 km each way to get to Dunboyne and back). I have exercise goals and while it took a really long time for me to actually exercise on a consistent, regular basis, I'm almost there.

That's not enough for me, however. I keep sitting around watching and reading about the cool things other people are doing and then getting super inspired--ready to write something of my own, or draw something or at least make a blog post about my travelling in Ireland--but then... I don't. I just keep reading what these cool people write or watching what they make. Feeling jealous and wishing I was as awesome as they are.

I read Wil Wheaton's blog and follow him on tumblr. He's always talking about people getting excited and making things. I need to get excited and make things, too!

I also watch Wheezy Waiter on youtube. Not only is he a hilarious dude, with these inexplicably gorgeous brown eyes, but he makes videos like three times a week--and is pretty inspiring, really. For example, one day he decided he wanted to be able to do a handstand, so he started doing handstands against a wall every day, working toward his goal of doing a proper one. He also just MAKES stuff and DOES stuff and puts it out there.

I also fell in love with Platoon of Power Squadron by Pineappleboy Films. There's only five episodes out, but they get better and better from the first one and it's just someone's project that he went out and did.

These people are all, like, my age, roughly. Well, Wil Wheaton's like halfway between me and my parents, and Wheezy Waiter's got like eight years on me (...what is it with me and these W. W. dudes? I don't even know), but still. I know I'm in Ireland and all that but I'm hardly writing anything. I've taken shittons of pictures and have barely put any up anywhere.

I want an audience. But I don't have anything to give to an audience.

So here, I'm going to make some creative goals right now.

- At least one blog post every two weeks. Once a month, it must include pictures and be about travelling somewhere or doing something cool.

- Thirty minutes of writing a day. Or, at the very least, staring at a blank page/computer screen with the blinkety text cursor on it. Doesn't matter if it's a new project, old project, poem, or blog post. But thirty minutes of it.

- One bike ride out somewhere new per week, with camera or videocamera in tow.

- Stop being afraid of sounding dumb or long-winded and just WRITE. You can edit it later. Or not. But you can't edit nothing.


We'll see how well I do with this bare minimum of stuff. I have a LOT of projects on the back burner right now. That's okay since I'm in Ireland and all, but I should at least make documenting my travels a priority.

One thing I did do is buy a small video camera that's on its way in the mail now. Probably because I've been watching all these cool youtubers do their thing... I don't know jack about filming or editing things, but I thought I might be more likely to create video travelogues rather than text 'n' pictures ones. At any rate, it's one of those small, indestructible sports kinds that attach to bikes 'n' helmets 'n' stuff. I realised after cycling from Westport to Achill that when you're going at a good 25kph clip on the bike, you don't really want to stop and get out of your groove to take pictures... so if I could just press a button and start filming the scenery from the bike, it might be more convenient. idk. Also, can become a skiing cam when I get back to Colorado :D

So yeah, if I can't hack it as a vlogger or a blogger, then, whatever. You have to try and just put stuff out there. So that's what I want to do from now on.

Peace.