like a bear

I tend to hibernate in the wintertime, it seems. I've done absolutely nothing particularly exciting or interesting since late November (Galway trip). Now the weather is warming up but I can't really go out into it much because of my knees...

OH WELL.

I'm working full days for the whole month of March. This will effectively double my salary for that month, plus two weeks' extra pay for full days in February. I am going to save all the extra, plus a certain percentage of the regular salary for as long as my job lasts. Then I will be all set to travel, unemployed and free, for June, July, and August. If I can I want to do a nice, long bicycle tour in July or August. Like, three weeks, doing roughly the perimeter of Ireland. Nice, slow pace, stopping frequently, lots of pictures, detours, COUNTRYSIDE. I've been in Dublin, hardly leaving it, for seven months now. I love Dublin--Dublin is my city now--but daaaaaaang I love the countryside here, and have only gotten glimpses of it thus far.

But if I'm gonna get out into that countryside I need my knees to be in perfect condition. So I'm gonna focus on that for the next month. That and cleaning up my diet and not being so goddamn lazy anymore.

Also on the to-do list is a weekend trip to London if I ever get another three-day weekend from work (flying in on Ryanair, no luggage, stay in a hostel), a ferry trip and short cycling holiday around Holyhead in Wales, and a cycle to Belfast in June (100 miles split over two days).

I also want to visit other places in the UK. I mean, I should spend a little time in Scotland, while I'm so close, and I want to visit Cardiff, and maybe like Oxford or something equally pretentious. We'll see.

If my knees don't improve, well, I'll rent a damn car. But I hope it doesn't come to that.

--

In other news. Here are three pictures chosen somewhat at random from my archives for those of you who still follow this blog.

[picture of some statues on the north Dublin quays -- depicting the starving would-be immigrants during the famine who didn't make it]

[picture of some graffiti on the north quays of Dublin -- the bat signal sporting a smiley face]

[picture from Dunleary I think, just a panoramic shot of the sea with a little village nestled on the right-hand side]

life and musings on it

I'm really upset right now because my knees are very sore. So sore I had to go see both a bike fit guy and a physiotherapist. Physio says I have to lay off serious biking till my problem is solved... But, biking, like, saved my life from depression and angst. So I'm upset that I have to lay off when all I want to do is be out on the bike and not worrying about anything.

Basically the knees are sore because I have a muscle imbalance from I guess improper pedalling? bike fit guy gave me insoles for fallen arches and adjusted the cleats on my clipless pedals, telling me to use them more. They do keep my knees straighter but I'm clumsy as F*** and fall over in stopped traffic periodically when I go to lean on the unclipped foot but end up falling over on the side that is still clipped in. So it kinda scares me. I guess I just need more practice. Or should I just always unclip both feet when coming to a stop? (I'm asking in case Travis or any cyclists read this blog)

As far as life goes... I feel like I am stuck in a rut of just going to work then coming home and futzing about on the internet before sleeping. Or going out to have a few drinks with Ethiopian boyfriend while he plays pool. Or I guess going to see a movie with him. It's nice and I like it (and him), but I did come to Ireland to see, like, Ireland... ( heyhey by the way MUPPETSISSOMUCHNOSTALGIA<3<3<3 )

thing is, I do have plans for travelling more. I'm saving up. Supposedly. My job will end at the end of May, then I will have June, July, and August of unemployment and freedom to do whatever I want to do with the funds I have left before I go home. I get paid a ridiculously awesome amount and for the next few weeks I'll be working full days instead of half days so I'll be banking even more. I'm, like, a professional, you guys. When did that happen? I just have to stop spending so much money at the bike shop and I'll be golden.

I was supposed to buy a new camera today, but I forgot so I never even left the house. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow or monday. idk. I still need to sort thru all the pictures that I've taken since I got here so i can post 'em 'n' shit.

also, I am addicted to watching episodes of Whose Line is it Anyway on Youtube which is distressing because I'm on a limited data plan and am probably going to exceed it this month. (firstworldproblems??)

sorry this blog entry is kinda ADD. I thought it would be better than posting nothing at all. if you want more info on anything I put in here, comment and I'll write more about it.

pax.

reason for lack of posts

sorry, folks who actually read this blog. Right now I'm on bed-rest with some kind of flu. It took the wind outta me really suddenly... one day i had a mild fever, 99-point-something, bad enough to make me actually buy a thermometer... I left work a little early and took the bus that day instead of cycling. the next day it was 101.8, then 102.5 ... I did go doctor, he gave me antibiotics to prevent pneumonia, because apparently this infection often settles in the chest. today is my first fever-free day. so that was five days of fever and misery from that.

the worst thing, though, in my opinion, is that my mouth is full of ulcers, one of the worst being right on the underside of my tongue (it's like an amalgamation of five different ones) which makes eating and drinking painful, so i'm really hungry but not really able to eat. of course from the fever I wasn't eating due to nausea and fatigue. so now I'm definitely starved and dehydrated which is preventing recovery.

i did make chicken soup and am making more right now (from scratch, not that hard, just boil a chicken for 3 hours and then separate the bones and skin from the meat). eating things like mashed bananas. i can't chew is the problem.

I've been kinda hibernating for the winter activity - wise... I screwed up my right knee somehow so i haven't even been on the bike very much either. i just have had this massive headache for like a week so i can't think or see straight.

suffice to say this blog isn't gonna die so easily. just be on hiatus for a while maybe while i heal up.


peace

third culture kid

Jam Everywhere:

the girl who moves to Ireland in order to learn how to be Ethiopian.



pax.


(or should I say ሰላም?)

my butch feminist transformation is complete

for those of you who are squeamish about feminist issues or body hair on women, don't read. But know that you're being silly and misogynist. XD

--

EDIT -- just a note to say that I tried the armpit hair thing, dealt with it okay... ultimately didn't like it. off it goes next time I'm in the shower. I honestly never noticed a B.O. difference; it's just itchy.



Those of you who know me fairly well may know that I stopped shaving my legs just before my senior year of high school. I was in my grandparents' house for the summer, shaving in the shower, when I realised that I HATED shaving. I was sitting there with the shaving cream and razor and just going, "I hate this so much." Then WHY was I DOING it?

I hated how much time it took. I hated the inescapable razor burn, due to my extremely sensitive skin. I hated the ingrown hairs. I hated having spiky stubble the very next morning. And I hated being self-conscious if I went without shaving for more than two days and a fine brown pelt could be seen growing there, a testament to my "laziness."

So I stopped. And I haven't shaved my legs since. My parents gave me a lot of flak for it, along with other friends and family trying to talk me out of it. Yes, my legs are just as hairy "as a man's". My dad is half Neanderthal and half gorilla--it's in my genes. That's actually part of what made shaving so terrible. The hair was thick and if I shaved in the morning, I could get a five o'clock shadow of stubble. The hair on my legs is now long, curly, and soft. It's not spiky and itchy and bumpy like it would be if I regularly shaved it.

My parents said I would never have a boyfriend if I didn't shave. I've had two since, one who thought it was awesome that I didn't shave, and one that didn't really care or think about it too much. My parents said I would have a hard time making new friends in college if I didn't conform to certain beauty standards--that I wouldn't make a "good impression" with folks. Well, I met one of my best friends ever at a pre-college summer camp where I was wearing shorts every day (SARAH I LOVE YOU BY THE WAY). I would wear long pants or skirts to church or formal occasions, and one of my cousins requested that I wear long pants when visiting her so I complied. But for the most part my legs were just my legs, and I wore shorts in the heat or to gym (badminton!) class, and that was that.

I have experienced some nastiness from strangers when they see my unshaven legs. Mostly just looks of disgust. But those who are truly my friends don't really care. And those who do care? Aren't my friends. It's that simple.

I do find it interesting, tho', that at times when I would "confess" that I don't shave my legs, people would experience visible relief when I said that I do shave my pits, however. A lot of people frame pit-shaving in terms of sanitation. I tho't the same, to be honest--it was more sanitary, less B.O., etc. But if that were the case, why don't MEN shave their pits? Since they supposedly sweat more, wouldn't it be more necessary for sanitation for men?

I actually haven't seen what my armpit hair looks like, fully grown, since I've shaved them every two days since I was about 11 or so. As an experiment, I'm letting it grow now. So far it feels uncomfortable, a bit itchy, strange because I'm not used to it. I haven't noticed a massive increase in B.O. In fact, the hair can capture my deodorant and hold it close to the skin for longer. I've actually started using a weaker deodorant from LUSH, made from baking soda, herbs, and essential oils--chemical and aluminium salt free--and as long as I apply it daily, I'm fine. The baking soda gets trapped in the hairs and can soak up sweat for longer than if my pit was clean.

I'm waiting until the hairs are at their longest, and I'll give it a week or so to see what I think. So far I'm not the biggest fan of how it feels, and may go back to shaving them. But I want to make a fully informed choice, a personal choice, not a choice foisted upon me by the media and by ad campaigns for ladies' razors.

I mean, I'm cool if people like the feel of smooth legs or whatever. But it's NOT disgusting or unsanitary to let your body remain in its natural state. ESPECIALLY not when there is a male/female double standard, where what is perfectly sanitary for men suddenly becomes the pit of disease and infection for women.

and don't even get me STARTED on women feeling pressure to shave all their pubic hair due to the influence of pornography.


So, yeah, I've done that, and now I've gotten tired of the hair on my head so I have buzzed it short, like Sinead O'Connor or Natalie Portman. If I started wearing my flannel and combat boots again, I would be perceived as quite butch. But, to be honest, I love my body, my female-ness. I just don't conform to a lot of traditional expectations of femininity. I think true femininity is much deeper and more basic than shite like long hair, dresses (altho' I love me some flowing, ankle-length skirts), make-up, jewellery, the colour pink...

And I don't give a flyin' flip what strangers think of me, or how people who don't know me yet perceive me. Besides, my face is actually rather feminine, and one of my favourite things about this haircut is it allows me to showcase all my awesome earrings (I love me some dangly, shiny earrings). So I'm not really worried about being seen as male or whatever. but even if I was, WHO CARES?

Thanks, Daddy, for teaching me not to give a crap what other people think, but only what I think is good, and right. Even when that means I don't care what YOU think, haha. Thank you for being concerned over my health and strength rather than my body conforming to irrational model-standards.

Thanks, Mama, for never making me feel like I had to wear daily make-up to be beautiful, even tho' I know you used to think that about yourself (which was silly of you :P). Thank you for affirming my personal decisions, and always coming to my support and encouragement when I am confused or hurt.

Also, thanks everyone who has complimented me on my new haircut! It just goes to show that some things in society are changing.

I really am feminist at heart. I know there is a backlash against feminists nowadays for some reason, with people railing on and on about "feminazis" and whatever. But feminism is still needed in today's society. Misogyny hasn't disappeared, people, just like racism or classism hasn't disappeared.

UTERUS. MENSTRUATION. VAGINA. CERVIX. VULVA. CLITORIS.

if you're shuddering now but make a lot of dick jokes, then shame on you XD

pax.

Christmas dinner

Am I tipsy posting this?! Maybe. Maybe. you'll never know. There is an empty bottle of Captain Morgan's in my house right now, tho'. Just sayin. But there's two of us and we've been working on it all day.

Some Christmas recipes for you. Gluten-free doesn't mean nasty, ok? ok. It means awesome.

My Christmas dinner with Skylar:

- Mashed spuds (white potatoes, extra garlic, rice milk, olive oil)

- Roasted vegetables (carrots and parsnips) with salt, rosemary, and mixed herbs, in the lamb drippings

- leg of lamb from local butcher, roasted in oven with olive oil, salt, rosemary, thyme, marjoram, basil, and oregano (SO GOOD OMG. TENDER AND LOVELY. YOU ARE JEALOUS.)

- flourless peanut butter cookies:

(300-400 g ( ~1 cup) Peanut Butter chunky or creamy
225 g  ( ~ 1 cup) Packed light or dark brown sugar
1 Large Egg, slightly beaten
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. vanilla!

Heat oven to 175 deg.C -- 350 F. cook 15 min-ish or until brown and puffy/soft. Let cool 20 min or more. makes delicious chewy cookie)

- bottle of captain morgan's rum mixed with club orange and mango juice

- Christmas pudding, from this recipe here:

http://www.dovesfarm.co.uk/recipes/gluten-free-christmas-pudding/  

but with a few edits, so here's what I actually did:

Ingredients

125 g

Raisins

125 g

Sultanas

75 g

Currants

50 g

Mixed Peel

100 g

Brown Rice Flour

100 g

Dark Brown Sugar

2 tsps

Mixed Spice

50 ml

brandy

100 g

mixed nuts (pecans, walnuts, almonds, etc)

1

Orange's Juice

50 g

melted Coconut Oil

1

Lemon's Juice

1

T vanilla extract

1

pudding basin

Method

1. Mix together the raisins, sultanas, currants, mixed peel, mixed nuts, orange & lemon juice, and brandy. Soak overnight.
2. Add flour, sugar and mixed spice.
3. Mix in the melted coconut oil.
4. Stir well.
5. Grease the sides of a pudding basin (I forgot to do this. But don't!).
6. Stir the mixture again then press the mixture into the pudding basin.
7. Spread tin foil over the top of the pudding basin tucking it in well around the outer rim (or just use lid if you have).
8. Place the pudding basin in saucepan then fill with water until it is half way up basin.
9. Put the lid on the saucepan and boil for 5 hours.
10. Carefully remove the pudding and cool without removing the foil/lid.
11. Store the pudding in fridge until required.
12. Place the pudding basin in saucepan then fill with water until it is half way up basin.
13. Steam for a further two hours.
14. Put a plate on top of the pudding bowl and carefully invert the pudding.
15. Serve warm. If you like, add a ginger and sugar drink to the final product. Or maybe some rum or brandy?! or vanilla ice cream, if you can do dairy (or a coconut milk equivalent)

** VERY SWEET ** cut sweetness with unsweetened cream if possible


Temperature & cooking time: 
Simmer on hob for 5 hours then for 2 hours right before serving. during first five hours, go get drinks in local Irish pub and get proposed to by a 52 year old man with a moustache. Meet sweet Irish people who call your friend beautiful (because she is). Sing Christmas carols for applause. Get free drinks from kind strangers, including a Galway fisherman.
Dietary status:
Without Gluten , Without Soya, Without Wheat. also, no eggs and a lot of other things. you'll know you own allergies, like. whatevs. Pay attention.

Lovely Christmas! Maybe I will post more on it later!

pax,
Jam

road raaaaage ~

Taxi. drivers. are. the. worst.

Today I cycled up to someone's house so that I could buy some legit panniers from her--found 'em on the Irish craigslist (gumtree.ie). The panniers are epic: grey paisley design, little lizard logo decals, tons of pockets, waterproofing, and a plastic "skeleton" so the pockets keep their shape when empty. They were 100 euro in Germany when new, and are still basically new but I got them for 40. A steal, and they're so cuuuuuuuuuute ~ plus the lady I bought them from was really sweet, talked to me for a long time. Apparently the panniers belonged to her sister who moved to America. With these, I'm definitely not going to lose anything off the side of my bike--no sir. I will have to take them off the bike whenever I park and shop or whatever, and they are awkward to carry, but I'll devise a system. For what they are, it's more worth it to me to have the drawbacks and the benefits than no benefits at all. Plus, I'm planning on taking them back to the states with me, whereas if I just got a basket or something it wouldn't be worth returning with.

long tangent aside... I was cycling up Drumcondra Road/Swords Road/the N1, and most of it doesn't have cycle lanes, so I was on the left-hand side of bus lanes. Taxi after taxi would pass me INSIDE the lane--so close it was scary. So I moved to the middle and took the entire lane for myself, since cyclists are allowed to use bus lanes. Taxis would still try to get in-between me and the cars in the next lane if they could. One taxi even honked at me in traffic for having the nerve to be a cyclist on the road--and the funny thing is, he honked at me but I was travelling the SAME SPEED as the car ahead of me, since traffic was thick and slow at that point. I turned around and pointed to the car ahead of me so the guy could see it was RIGHT THERE. Sheesh, people.

I don't mind if they pass me when I'm on the left,  as long as they give me about half the lane to exist in. But some drivers would give me less than a foot of space. That's not safe. I'm happy to get out of their way whenever possible, but if they insist on being assholes I will do what it takes to be safe--which involves taking a lane for myself, in the absence of cycle lanes (or when the cycle lanes are a joke, covered in parked cars or buses that start and stop every ten feet, forcing you to turn left when you wanna go straight or straight when you wanna turn right, randomly appearing and disappearing, covered in broken glass or potholes, etc.).

anyway. I LOVE the panniers. They are my payday treat, along with a pair of synthetic trouser underlayers since I ripped a hole in my other pair when I took a spill the other day. I mean, I can still use the ones with a hole (and probably will), but they're ones my dad gave me so they bag and sag and it's nice to have a pair now that fit against my skin and don't have a penis hole in them.

Yeah, payday... My first paycheck of my SALARY. I am a salaried office worker now. Wtf? Does that mean I'm a grownup? I lost my heels and suitjacket when I lost my purse, but still. I have a work email address. I am an office administrator who fills in spreadsheets and emails people all day. And does endless sums. MATHS ARGH.


Can't wait for the first leisurecycling.ie training meet in the end of January...

pax